Traffic light shoes.

Green is the universal colour for go, while red signifies stop. The most common place to find this is at a traffic light, but some have taken this process and have moulded it for their own usage..the result of this, a traffic light party.

You wear green if you are single, red if you are taken and amber if you are...... fair game?

What I want to know is why can we not take this one step further and apply the colour system into everyday life through our shoes? Every time a woman walks into a club she can expect to be harassed by drooling men at every turn. I fail to count the numerous amount of times my bum has been pinched by a stranger who seems to think that doing this is OK.

I wonder, if that same stranger knew I was taken, for example if I was were carrying a huge red sign saying taken, would he still have the balls to reach for the bum?

If we coded our lives with the same colour as we do our traffic, would this sequence still occur?

Green shoes for single i.e go and red shoes for taken i.e stop. Surely this would deter all the disgusting old men, that seriously think they have a chance with you, never mind the spotty adolescent ones. No more confusion in nightclubs or that dreaded line: "Sorry, I have a boyfriend."

Everyone would be happy, the weirdos would stay away, your bum would be "man-hand free" and lets face it,most importantly, it would be much easier to match your outfit to your shoes.

Ugg boots, Creator or Adaptor?

Fashion can be funny.

Ugg boots for example, became ultra famous after celebrities started to wear them. These are boots that were originally worn by Australian sheep shearers to keep their feet warm...yet now, come these cold months of winter, they are the fashion must haves.

Primarily this craze was started by women, but now men have cottoned on too.

I, a woman with many Uggs, would be mortified if my boyfriend turned around one day and said "I have that pair in black".

There is something strangely off putting about a man in my shoes. I mean whats next? Male bras?

Some may argue that they were created by men, but is it not women that have brought them into the public eye?

Therefore it is hard to decide who gets custody over them. Should it be the creator, or the adapter? Women saw the potential and took it out of the sheep shearing farms of Australia and onto the front cover of Vogue.

Like many things they were man made but women improved them.

My ruined bride.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a week, I’ve been on holiday, well actually I went home for my mums wedding.

She looked really happy and beautiful until the after party when I saw her wondering around with no shoes on! It completely ruined the whole image for me, seeing a beautiful bride in a long flowing white dress, then looking down to her grubby feet!

I of course had new shoes for the occasion, which I had worn-in prior to the big day, so I wondered why the bride hadn’t gone to the same amount of trouble?

Now to be fair my mothers heel limit is pathetic…she literally wears kitten heals and her feet are killing her, so why bother to spend the money on shoes she knew she would take off??

Some people just don’t know a good shoe when they have one, and others shouldn’t be allowed to have pretty shoes, especially if they are going to discard them on a chair while they dance around in their wedding dress!

Shoe rack or food?

My new shoe rack is in a word…AMAZING!

I no it is just a shoe rack and its main aim in life is to stand still while things sit on it. I also know this is the point when you realise my life really is controlled by shoes, but I just can’t help loving it.

I love it so much that I am seriously considering getting another one the exact same that will sit right next to it in my shoe corner.

I’ve done the math and I have enough shoes for another one so it’s not like it would go to waste . . . but I do have to consider the money factor.

I have a choice, a new shoe rack or food for the week.

I think we all the logical path here, but I also think we all know the one I am going to choose.

I’m like a lamb to the slaughter.

Shoes that hurt like a man.

You buy a new pair of shoes, and stupidly wear them out that night without breaking them in. By the end of the night your feet are in bits and you literally can´t walk.

You then get that stupid idiot that thinks they´re helping by asking: “why didn’t you wear them in first?” or the typical bloke quote: “why do you wear them if they hurt you?”

In this case I like to look on wearing a new pair of shoes like dating a new man.

You really like him, you think he looks nice and at first he boosts your confidence, so you take that chance and go out with him that night.

How foolish. You didn’t wear him in! Dispite how much you like him that doesn´t stop him from being a bloke. He will probably say or do something that night or another night in the future that will hurt you...thus making him just like your new shoes.

Their exterior is so beautiful that it makes you forget how much pain you will eventually be in.

Shoes and Hamburg tops

I brought some new shoes yesterday. They were in the sale reduced from 25 quid to five, so really they were a bargain. They are a cute pink colour that I know I have a top to match them with and lets face it if I never wear them, its a fiver, who cares?

Well apparently my boyfriend does.

I got this whole eye rolling thing that really ruined my whole shoe buying moment. I normally get that exuberant feeling, excited about when I am going to wear them and so on. But instead I was made to feel…well pathetic really.

I was made to feel that my life’s so empty because I got excited about a new pair of shoes. I started to think about him and his sports tops.

He supports Southampton but wears a Hamburg top? He has never been to Hamburg, seen them play or have any interest in a player there.

His theory is he likes the top, it’s comfortable and in his words “it’s cool”.

Now correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that why I buy shoes? I like my shoes, no correction I love my shoes. I have an interest in shoes, their comfortable, and in my words “their cool”

So if I want a new pair of shoes, and I want to get excited about them I will, and if that means that my life is sad and pathetic oh well. My shoes and I can live in ignorance together, boyfriendless.